Terrapin got your tongue? First person nature writing series.
A terrapin swimming with a coot at Roath Park in Cardiff.
Got Your Tongue? Is a series of pieces that challenge me to think more than "cute" about a creature, and to research about them instead. Writing in the first person is meant to improve the empathy we feel when reading, so I've decided to just act as if I am ... and hope it resonates with you better that way too. I feel strongly about the damage we are inflicting on our ecosystems and this is my tiny contribution to trying to work out how we can do better.
Oh no, we have a poker!“
Red alert everyone, this is not a drill, there’s a poker within a foot’s distance of me! Save yourselves! Flee your basking spot! It’s too late for me, stuck between a rock and a swan. She obviously hasn’t been put off by the fake news Salmonella story, she’s leaning in for the kill, avert your eyes!”
“Don’t touch it! You’ll scare him!” The true voice of an angel right there, Charlotte Church should take some lessons after the escapade with that Rufus of hers; his tongue was on my eyeball before she got him under control again. Some people seem to think their dogs can do no wrong. His teeth would have proved otherwise though. All I’m saying is, it’s lucky for all involved that I can tuck my head in.
Our lot are nothing if not resourceful. We had the last laugh when the powers-that-be found us an inconvenience too. Unlike the fish, we can’t be flushed down the loo, so they ended up dropping us off here, in good old Roath Park… Back in ’97 we even made the headlines! ‘The heat is on and terrapins are going wild’, trust the Independent to come up with that. I don’t like to quibble over semantics, but I’d argue they were using the word “going” in the wrong context there.
I’m not sure why they can’t tell us apart either, the amount of times I hear, “careful, it could have your finger off!” They are confusing us with Chelydra Serpentina, the Common Snapping Turtle. Can’t see why, the differences are both stark and abundant. To give just two examples, they have a brown or black carapace and a lighter-coloured plastron. Almost forgot, that tell-tale red stripe by our ears should make it blindingly obvious, unless you’re colour-blind, a Snapper doesn’t have one of those. Mind you, most Brits can’t seem to differentiate between any Asian people at all, so it makes sense they’d struggle with an entirely different species.
Humans are so quick to scare, I’ve never stolen a chick and I’d bet my last pond plant those “Monster Pike” never did either. It seems like there’s a new enemy every five minutes, but the common theme is always invaders. Easy to lay blame at someone else’s shell. I’ve never felt as unwelcome as when that report came out about the Great Crested Newt, it claimed that even as a protected species it was probably going to wiped out by out by our voracious appetites.
I’m not denying my penchant for that sort of thing, but all it takes is some simple maths. Our eggs need around 60 days of 25 degrees Celsius heat to hatch, not one of their great, great, great grandmothers will remember a summer like that in Britain; even global warming hasn’t ushered one in yet. In fact, we got snow in March last year. Flora, Dora, Cora nor Nora survived those conditions. I haven’t seen a single hatchling in the past ten years. Try not to think about it most of the time. Our annual mortality rate here is between 40-80%.
It’s not all bad though, Bruce had rubber shell as a tot, didn’t think he’d amount to much, but it’s amazing what access to a range of fish can do to strengthen you. I call him Diamondback now, he’s a heavyweight. Before they said goodbye to him, and shoved him in here, they’d only ever fed him pellets. Stands to reason he’s better off now; at least I was offered some “enrichment activity” when they’d add some live River Shrimp for me to chase.Why has the wannabe poker just referred to me as “Raphael”? That’s the third time today, they could hardly be described as an imaginative bunch....
Writing 'Terrapin Got Your Tongue?' Made me realise:
A load of people bought terrapins because of the popularity of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and then dumped them in lakes and waterways all over the UK when they found out they can be hard work and can grow to be quite big.
Terrapins struggle to survive in the wild in the UK because they can't get enough warmth and this stops them eating/digesting food, which means they slowly starve to death.
If I meet these terrapin dumpers, I am going to punch them.
More about Roath Park terrapins, where I saw this guy: Here.
If you want to know more about what goes into caring for a terrapin: Here.
Terrapin on the bank of Roath Park lake, with a swan.
